


Birth Of A Spider

by GenderFluidIntake



Series: NaNoWriMo 2017 [6]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Brainwashing, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Pre-Canon, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-01-30 13:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12654102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenderFluidIntake/pseuds/GenderFluidIntake
Summary: Villains are not born, they are made.Amelie Lacroix was no different.





	1. Egg

**Author's Note:**

> Day 6 of NaNoWriMo. This will not be happy.

"Cadet Oxton, report to the hangar for pre-flight check. Repeat, Cadet Oxton, report to hangar for pre-flight check."

Lena looked up at the loudspeaker in annoyance, still breathing heavily as Amelie pulled back from their kiss to lean against her collarbone. "Bloody things, don't they know I'm having a moment here?"

Amelie chuckled, small breaths ghosting over and tickling her lover's skin as she wrapped her arms around her tighter. "You should go, you do not want them to come looking for you now, do you?"

"Suppose not," Lena grimaced, speaking softly, "Especially not Gerard."

" _Cherie_... " She brushed her finger over Lena's skin, frowning to herself. "I think that if he knew... If he knew he may understand."

"I think he might know something." Amelie's eyes widened at the confession, Lena squeezed her hand. "Sometimes when I'm with the two of you, he gives me this look... It's not happy but... It's not sad either." She shook her head, sighing, "I'm probably just reading too much into it now aye?"

"Perhaps... He is a good man, maybe we should tell him."

"Yeah, maybe..." Lena trailed off, looking at her watch as she started to back away. "I'm sorry luv, I've really gotta go now, come see me before take-off?"

Amelie smiled, leaning in for one last kiss as she let her go.

"I would not miss it for the world."

 

 

"Alright Lena, prepare the boosters for firing." Winston's deep voice filtered through the on-board communicator, Lena yawning as she flipped the switches and pressed the button, keeping the activator in its cover. "Good, now disengage."

"My god luv, I've run through these drills hundreds of times, if something goes wrong it's not going to be because of anything I've done." She disengaged the boosters, fingers tapping lightly along the console and she turned her thoughts elsewhere.

A familiar sigh was her answer, Winston clearly having his hand over his eyes as he considered how to reply. "We all know that you're an exceptionally talented pilot Lena, that's why you've been considered for a position here. But just because we know that you are good doesn't mean that we won't take every precaution, surely you understand that."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I get it Winston. It's just driving me up the wall, that's all it is." She threw her feet up on the console, tapping at one of the dials. "I've been waiting months for this by now, I just want to get up in the air already."

"I can understand that Lena, only an hour or so to go till then." He chuckled, "Until then, show me that you remember where the fuel gauge is."

"Oh, for god sake Winston!"

"I'd say it's time to give the girl a break by now, wouldn't you Winston?" A smooth voice filtered through the communicator, her head craning over the dash to look down at ground level.

"Commander Reyes!" She just about leapt out the door, landing in a roll and shooting up into a salute. "Good to see you sir!"

He laughed, walking over and clapping her on the back. "Don't be so formal Oxton, you're not even in Overwatch!" He looked over to the side, tilting his head. "Hell, even if you were you wouldn't be in my department. That'd be his."

She followed where his finger was pointing to, seeing Strike Commander Morrison walking over, strides sure and his face set as he looked up at the Slipstream.

In spite of what Reyes had just said, she straightened up again, heels clicking as she held her hand straight against her head. "Commander Morrison!"

Morrison continued over, face stone as he looked down at her. "At ease Cadet, how is the flight check coming along?"

She thought back to her time in the Slipstream, trying to remember if there was anything that stuck out to her. "A few of the gauges are showing irregular levels, I don't know if it's enough to stop the flight, but it might be worth a check with maintenance."

He hummed in thought, "Do you really think something could be wrong? Genuinely?"

"I honestly couldn't say Sir. If it was the fuel line or the boosters I'd say yea but... These gauges could mean anything."

"If you don't think it's an issue no reason to delay any further, just keep an eye on it for now."

"I..." She snapped to attention. "Yes Sir. Thank you."

Winston and Reyes watched in silence as he walked off, sighing to themselves as they joined Lena. "He's been banking on this for a while, it's supposed to be the big money maker for Overwatch." Reyes turned to her. "Do you really think there's nothing to worry about? Because I can talk to him if you don't feel comfortable with that."

"I'm sure it's nothing." She waved away his concern. "Besides, Winston's given it the ol' once over, he would have picked up if something was wrong."

"I'm not infallible Lena, and this is a very unsure science. Time distillation is... Difficult to predict, everything needs to be as sure as we can get it." He placed a large hand on her back. "If you are unsure in any way, tell us."

"This is supposed to be a big win for them?" She looked up at Reyes, shaking his head to himself before he nodded at her. She steeled herself. "I'm sure, we'll be fine. Probably just a glitch."

"Alright, if you're sure." Reyes shrugged, stepping back and leaning against Winston's console. "If this goes well I might have to see about getting one of these for my department. Don't know if I could convince my guys to get in it though, this time fuckery might be a bit much."

"It's not for everyone." Winston agreed, "I've helped build it, and I'm not certain I'd want to be in it."

"Really glad you're sending me through then big guy," Lena smirked, smacking him as high on his shoulder as she could reach. "Glad to know that's where we stand."

An accented voice caught their attention, all three looking over as a mustached man approached them, perfect smile twinkling in the sunlight as he jogged over. "Lena! I was almost afraid I missed you!"

"G-Gerard!" She stepped into the hug he offered, squeezing once around his neck before stepping back. The other two looked between them wordlessly, an unspoken conversation passing between them as they glanced at each other. Neither of them were certain of anything, but they sure had their suspicions. Almost everyone on base did, just no one wanted to talk about it.

Lena especially didn't want to talk about it, though she didn't know that everyone else knew. Instead, she just thought she had to worry about the husband of the woman she loved finding out about said love and breaking down.

Right now, however, she didn't see any of that. She saw one of her best friends looking down at her with a wide grin, and she couldn't be happier. She smiled, her tone light as she asked, "I thought you were running training drills today?"

"I was, but I handed them off to one of Reyes' boys."

Reyes stood up straight, a panicked look suddenly overtaking him. "Wait, which one? The cowboy or the ninja?"

"The cowboy. I figured he has something valuable to teach them."

"Oh no..." He took off in a sprint, screaming back as he crashed through a door on the way to the training grounds, "Goddammit Lacroix!"

"Oh." Gerard winked at the both of them. "Do you think I made a mistake?"

"Whatever he's teaching them I'm sure it's not regulation." She pushed him lightly, grinning. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing really, just wanted to see my wife's best friend before she takes off on her big mission." He whistled up at the jet. "An impressive beast, isn't she?"

"Let's hope so, I'm gonna be disappointed if it doesn't make the jump."

"I'm sure it will be fine, she's in the best of hands." He clapped her on the shoulder, smiling widely. "Well, no doubt Gabriel has taken back my instructor now, I need to get back." He started jogging backwards, suddenly remembering something. "Oh, Amelie also said that she'll meet you out by the gym, she wants to have a private word with you." He gave her that look again, and she was almost certain that he knew what was happening. "You're important to her, so I'm sure she wants to wish you luck."

He stepped back over to her, taking her hand in his as he smiled at her. "Thank you for being there for her when I cannot. You're a member of the family Lena, so just know that I am grateful to you." He laughed, stepping backwards. "But this is getting too sentimental! I'm sure we can speak later!"

She watched him walk away, his smile like a beam of sunlight and his every step bouncing him off the ground.

And that was the last time they ever saw each other.


	2. Egg Sac

Lena’s preflight nerves were starting to get to her, each step she took away from the strip and towards the gym heavy with anticipation. She knew she should be happy to see Amelie again, even if it was only an hour since she’d seen her last, but it was just reminding her more and more that _this was happening_ , she was going to be flying the most important mission of her career, something that no one in the world had ever done before.

So maybe “preflight nerves” was underselling it a little.

But for a second, when she stepped around that corner and saw Amelie leaning on the railing, long dark hair blowing in the wind and her lips clamped around a cigarette, she could forget all about her worries. Just for one moment, she could feel nothing but love, and she was going to hold onto that.

“I thought you were going to quit those?” She waltzed over, plucking the cigarette from Amelie’s lips and placing it between her own. “You know that it’s awful tempting for me.”

Amelie smirked, though her brow was still pinched in worry. “How could I have forgotten, you were always so terrible at giving into temptation.”

“Only with you.” Lena flipped her sunglasses into her hair, breathing out a lungful of smoke and looking out across the forest. “It really is beautiful here isn’t it?”

“It is, but that’s not why I asked you to be here with me right now.” Amelie shifted from side to side, before sighing and taking her hand. “I am worried for you Lena. I know that everyone is doing their jobs, and that they are good at them but… That does not change that fact that I have a feeling something terrible is going to happen.”

“Amelie, hey, look at me.” Lena turned Amelie to face her, placing both hands on each of her cheeks. “Everything is going to be fine, do you hear me? It’s going to go like clockwork, I’ll smile for the cameras, do an interview, then I’ll be back to go to dinner with you and Gerard, ok?”

“You can’t be sure of that...”

“Yes, I can, and I’m telling you right now that I’m going to be just fine.” She smirked. “Unless you’re calling me a liar?”

“You? A liar?” Amelie chuckled, leaning into her arms. “You’re many things, but a liar is not in your area of expertise.”

“I’m gonna try and take that as a compliment.”

“Good, I think I meant it as one.” She squeezed her arms around Lena’s shoulders. “Just promise me, please?”

“I’m gonna be fine luv, cross my heart and…” Lena grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut in embarrassment. “Probably not the best thing to say right now huh?”

“Not exactly, but I think I can forgive you,” She was silent for a moment before she sighed, “How was it seeing Gerard? I know the two of you are good friends but… After our conversation this morning…”

“About that…” Lena thought back to that split second she had seen his face change, the way his eyes had lost some of their shine but not exactly from sadness. “I’m almost certain that he knows luv, and even if he doesn’t… I think sometime soon we should all have a talk about this.  I love you, and you love me but… He doesn’t deserve this.”

“I fear how he will react but… You’re right. He’s the man I married, and I love him so much, as much as I love you, and he deserves better than to be betrayed like this.” She shook her head, burying her face in Lena’s shoulder. “However this goes, however we end up, he deserves to know. I owe him so much more than that, but that will have to do.”

Lena wished that she could stand there forever, her arms around her love’s waist and her nose buried in her hair, but all things had to end. Reluctantly, she took a step backwards, falling out of Amelie’s arms. “Sorry luv, gotta go and prepare for the launch. Wish I could stay longer but, you know...”

“I understand.” Amelie smiled, blowing a kiss to her. “Come back to me soon Lena Oxton.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it Ame!” She held her arms out to the side as she walked backwards, a cocksure smile on her face. “We’ve got plenty of time!”

 

Lena double checked her instruments, idling on the runway while the commander gave his rallying speech to the press about the advances of the future and the bright young talent that they were recruiting every day. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the words, but she supposed that they weren’t totally inaccurate.

At least they would be if she could get that one meter to stop fluctuating, but there was always something that was going to go wrong. She would just have to trust that the people that put the plane together knew what they were doing.

“Tracer, are you ready for takeoff?” Her onboard communicator crackled to life, at least that seemed to be working.

“Ready and waiting sir, preparations are complete. Just waiting for the go ahead.”

“Understood, prepare for takeoff in twenty seconds.”

“Roger sir.” She flipped the switches, increasing power to the bare minimum to warm up the engine. Take off was going to be fast, she had to make sure that the engine wasn’t cold when she engaged the thrusters.

Looking out of the cockpit, she scanned the faces in the gathered crowd, each one excited and nervous in equal measure, before she found who she was looking for. Standing behind a sheet of protective glass, arms wrapped around herself in worry but forcing herself to look brave. Lena raised a hand in greeting, just resisting the urge to blow a kiss.

Amelie smiled at the gesture, raising her own hand for a second before looking around her. Even though there was at least fifty feet between them there was no way that Lena could miss the words that she mouthed at her, that one sentence that made her heart race every time she heard it.

“I love you.”

“Tracer, you’re good to go. Show us what you’ve got.”

She snapped back to attention, taking a deep breath and steeling herself. “Roger that sir, taking off now.”

The jet took off like a bullet, leaving the tarmac and lifting into the air in seconds. Once she aligned herself with her destination she increased the thrust, engaging the turbo and preparing herself for the shift. When nothing happened except a deep rumbling she knew something was wrong.

“Controls unresponsive, investigating now.” Her heart was racing, sweat already beading on her forehead but she forced herself to remain calm. The future of Overwatch was depending on her, she couldn’t allow herself to lose control now.

She couldn’t see anything that could explain what was happening, but that same meter that she had eternal trouble with had finally stabilized. She didn’t know why that put her on edge, but it clearly didn’t mean anything good if the rest of the situation was anything to go by.

“Teleporter isn’t working sir, recommend bringing her back down and performing more thorough checks before trying again later.”

The sigh of disappointment was clear to hear over the radio, but there was nothing she could do about that. “Understood Tracer, bring her back in slowly. We can salvage this somewhat.”

“Roger that sir, I-” She frowned, swearing that she had just touched the throttle. Looking down, she tried again, moving her hand to take control before she froze. She had touched it, felt the smooth metal in her fingertips and felt the chill that swept down her hand.

Then her hand kept going.

“S-sir… Something’s wrong...”

The cockpit washed in red, an alarm blaring in her ear and the ears of those down on the ground. “Sir something is wrong!”

“Tracer! What’s happening? Report!”

“I-I don’t...” Something burst behind her, a dull pop and spark that swept through her body. The jet pitched to the side, before… Reversing itself. Not correcting, that would imply that it moved again at all, with a sweeping rush of cool air and a pit in her stomach she found herself back where she had been three seconds ago, that same pop sounding behind her before the jet fell sideways once more.

“Oxton! Report! What is happening?”

The jet was vibrating even harder now, part of the aircraft falling away and vanishing into nothingness. She reached out once more, one desperate move to try and take control before her hands vanished in front of her.

She closed her eyes, speaking softly into her communicator.

“Tell Amelie I-”

And then she was gone.

 

Amelie watched on in horror, hands pressed up against the glass and her throat raw from screaming. When the jet exploded she felt her heart rend in two, almost certain the shockwave would pound her into dust.

“Amelie get down!” Gerard tackled her to the ground, seconds before the shockwave hit, shattering the glass where she had been moments before and turning into a thousand tiny razor blades.

“Get off me!” She tried to fight her way from underneath him, hands sweeping across the floor and slicing on the spilled shards. “Lena needs me! She-”

“She’s gone!” Gerard pulled her head into his chest, both shaking with sobs. “She’s… She’s gone...”

He looked up, seeing the panicked crowd sprinting away while the wreckage of the Slipstream pulsed in the distance. “Amelie I… I’m so sorry…”

She barely heard him, her body losing all power and her limbs going limp in his arms. “We… We still had time left...”

 

The funeral was a somber affair, only the central members of the organization in attendance. Reyes stood off to the side with Amelie and Gerard, things between Morrison and him icy ever since the accident. Winston looked as though he’d lost a member of his own family, and given how close he and Lena had been it wouldn’t have been strange to think of them as family. He barely kept himself together through the eulogy, but the sight of an empty casket lowering into the cold, dark earth was the final straw, a broken howl echoing through the graveyard before he forced himself to leave.

One by one, the members stepped up and payed their respects, until finally it was only Amelie, Gerard and Gabriel left standing at her gravestone.

“I want you two to know that… I’m truly sorry about this.” Gabriel looked between them, his eyes haunted. “I’ve lost a lot of people under my command and it never gets any easier. If you need any time off, if you need anything just tell me and I’ll make it happen, no matter who I have to bypass.”

“Thank you, Gabriel.” Gerard smiled tightly. “We appreciate that.”

Amelie said nothing, her eyes never leaving the name etched into the stone in front of them. “Gerard… May I have a few minutes alone?”

“Amelie I...” Gabriel laid a hand on his shoulder, nodding sadly.

“She needs to do this Gerard, trust me. We owe her that much at least.”

“I… I understand.” Gerard took her hand one last time, pressing his lips to her knuckles. “I will be waiting in the car with Gabriel my love, take as long as you need.”

She stood still long after their footsteps faded away, her hand brushed over each indentation marking another letter in her lost love’s name. “You little fool…” She whispered to herself, shoulders shaking as she finally fell to her knees, forehead resting against the cold stone while she lamented what had been taken from her.

“We were supposed to grow old together, to see the world change into something beautiful… Why? Why did this have to happen to us?”

“I have found that these things always happen for a reason.” Amelie looked up at the voice, her eyes first drawn to that shock of ginger hair before she took notice of her face, mouth set in a smile that didn’t seem to reach her eyes. “I’m sorry to interrupt, I was wondering if you needed any help?”

“No I...” She swept a hand across her eyes, shaking her head. “I’m fine, I was just leaving.”

“Did you know her well?” The stranger looked down at her, head cocked to the side while she seemed to be analyzing her every move. “The commander was saddened because of what this means for the organization, Gabriel was reminded of the people he couldn’t save. But you have genuine grief, like someone who lost a member of their family or...” She hummed to herself, “Or perhaps a lover?”

Amelie stood angrily, poking her finger into the woman’s chest. “I do not know who you are, but how _dare_ you choose now of all times to confront me over this! Do you have no idea of respect?”

She raised her hands, that same smile never leaving her face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. Analyzing is just what I do, it is difficult to switch it off sometimes.” She held her hand out, not losing any poise when Amelie refused to shake it. “As for who I am, my name is Moira O’Deorain. I work with Gabriel on some of his more… Unsavory tasks.”

“Well that is just wonderful Ms. O’Deorain, I hope not to run into you again.” She tried to step away, her arm suddenly seized in the grip of a hand too cold to be healthy.

“I wasn’t quite finished I’m afraid. I work with Gabriel of course but I occasionally hire out my talents to other distinguished organizations. One of those organizations is the reason why I am here today in fact.”

“Why are you- Ah!” Amelie flinched when she felt something stab into her arm, Moira taking her hand away and guiding her down to the ground, legs suddenly not obeying her.

“They require a subject for study, and you were determined to be an ideal candidate.” She dropped the smile for the first time, a calculating frown taking its place. When she spoke next, her words had the barest hint of sympathy, “I do apologize for doing this here, but this was the only location where it was reasonable that you would be alone.”

Amelie was starting to blackout, her last conscious action to touch Lena’s grave one last time.

“It was lovely meeting you Mrs. Lacroix, when you wake up you won’t remember me.” She sighed, “Perhaps that is for the best.”

Amelie’s head fell forward, her body going slack as she finally lost herself to the darkness.

“Help me...”


	3. Spiderling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Torture, Brainwashing.  
> It was coming, but just be aware.

“This is deeply unpleasant.” Moira grimaced at the screams from the next room, another cart of vials being pushed out and joining the rest.

“What’s the matter doctor? Do you not appreciate this opportunity for more data?” Dr. Kozlov chuckled, preparing another vial and glancing at the print-outs. “I would assume that someone of your caliber would leap at the opportunity.”

“The data I’m interested in has yet to rear its head. Right now there is just…” She held her hand out as another scream pierced the air. “An abundance of useless pain.”

“Perhaps you would like to assist me in preparing these then? I’m sure they just need that extra touch.”

“Perhaps…” She looked up and through the two way mirror, seeing Amelie shake in the chair. “It will at least give me something to do until the butchers are finished.”

 

In the moments that she could lose herself, Amelie thought of home. She thought of the smell of baking bread, of roses… her husband waking her in the morning, or Lena letting herself in when he was away. The feeling of arms around her, their face buried into her hair, it made her feel loved. It made her feel… safe.

When it was torn away from her it almost caused more anguish than what happened next.

“Serum I8-3G5 unsuccessful, resulted in muscle contractions and a state of unconsciousness. Moving on to I8-3G6.”

“Please…” She said, “I… I don’t know why you’re doing this but…”

Her eyes rolled back into her skull as the drug took hold, her hands starting to shake and her muscles tightening up. Her heart started beating erratically, hyperventilation setting in and her throat starting to close up. As she started to believe that she was dying, they pushed another needle into her thigh, pupils going wide and her eyes darting from side to side.

“Subject is now in a state of hyper awareness, brain activity levels in acceptable parameters.” They nodded to their partner. “Put the helmet on her.”

“Wait, no… what helmet… what are you doing?”

The heavy apparatus was brought down, goggles secured over her eyes and headphones placed over her ears. She was starting to wonder just what it was they were doing when her vision filled with blinding lights, erratic flashes and pulses of white and red, impossible to block out and filling her mind with pain. Deafening, shrill shrieks and tones pierced her ears, so loud that the only way she could tell she was screaming was from the feeling of her throat tearing itself apart. She couldn’t even pass out from the pain, the drugs working through her system and keeping her fully conscious through every agonizing second.

In her desperation, she wished for Lena to come and save her, to kick the door in and tell her everything was going to be alright.

Then she remembered.

And then she started screaming again.

 

“Barbaric. Unsightly.” Moira curled her lip, muttering to herself as she looked over at Dr. Kozlov. “Unprofessional.”

He chuckled, “I don’t see much difference in the way that we conduct our experiments Dr. O’Deorain. In fact I’m sure that this is not the first time you’ve seen someone being broken, not with your history at Blackwatch.”

“Pain, however interesting it may be, is not my primary goal. I would prefer it if the subjects remained quiet during my procedures.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You on the other hand seem to enjoy the pain, and while I will not tell you how to run your lab normally I can tell you that it leaves me unimpressed when I have to be around it.”

“Well, you needn’t worry too much Doctor. The subjects never last more than a few days with my team working on them.”

“I do not intend to sit around for the foreseeable future having to listen to that woman tear her own throat out.” She stood, walking over and looking at the readout for the latest round of serum. “The least you can do is paralyze her vocal cords, at least then I may research in peace.”

He shrugged, getting up from his seat and walking over to join her. “I suppose I can make an exception just this once.”

 

Amelie had lost all sense of time, her screams long having ceased and being reduced to a pained mumble. In the barrage of colour and light words and images flashed, so fast that she didn’t even know if she was imagining them or not.

“G-Gerard…” ENEMY. “Please... help me…”

Her thoughts were jumbled, blood pulsing in her temples and her body shaking erratically. She tried to focus on something, anything that might have brought her some comfort, but everything vanished in seconds. Her first thoughts went to Overwatch-

TRAITORS

-but those turned into thoughts of an explosion, a plane vanishing with everything that she held dear on board. If Lena-

DEATH

-was still here, maybe… maybe she never would have ended up like this. She would have been laying in bed, enjoying a quiet day with the woman she loved-

HATE

-more than anything in the world.

By the time they took the helmet off of her she didn’t know if it was a hallucination, if she’d finally broken or if they had decided to take mercy on her. Whatever one it was she would take it, at least then she wouldn’t have to have her senses utterly assaulted or her mind shattered any longer.

“Amelie Lacroix. Age 24, yes?” Dr. Kozlov shone a light in her eye, her pupil darting around and her body shuddering at the sudden intrusion.

“Y-yes…”

“Impressive, some people find themselves unable to speak after undergoing the treatment…” He chuckled, “Well we paralyzed your vocal cords for a while there, the sound was grating you see, but you’re still speaking on your own.”

“How… how long was I in that thing?”

“Three days.” He smirked. “Or maybe it was only two hours. What do you think?”

“I…” She shook her head, hanging limply against her shoulders. “I can’t… I don’t _know_ …”  
“Not unexpected.” He nodded, pulling out a notebook and flipping it open to a bookmarked page. “I have a few questions to ask you if you don’t mind.”

“P-please…”

“Shh… it’s going to be over soon.” He cleared his throat, face losing all traces of emotion. “I’m going to say a phrase, and I want you to tell me the word that you associate with it. Non-compliance will result in more isolation, is that understood?”

Shaking, she nodded. “Yes.”

“Good. Overwatch.”

LIARS. “P-Protection.”

His lips twitched, the corner of his mouth turning upwards. “You’re lying to me Mrs. Lacroix. Do not lie to me. I’m giving you another chance to tell me the truth.”

She closed her eyes, images and words coming unbidden even with the helmet gone. “L-liars.”

He beamed, eyes crinkling at the sides. “Very good! That wasn’t so hard was it?”

“Please, I don’t know what you want but-”

“Sex.”

DEATH. “D-death…”

“Bullet.”

PLEASURE. “Pleasure…”

The Doctor huffed a small laugh. “Husband.”

TARGET. “What?” Her eyes widened in shock, her head shaking and her arms fighting at her restraints. “No I don’t want to do this please!”

“Calm down Mrs. Lacroix, we are almost done.” He snapped his fingers, the door opening and Moira walking in. “This is my co-worker, Dr. O’Deorain, she is going to be running some tests.”

“D-Dr. O’Deorain?” KEEPER “What is she going to do?”

“Nothing too invasive I assure you.” She smiled tightly, brushing some of her hair out of her eyes. “Merely some blood tests and brain scans.”

“It… it won’t hurt?”

She shook her head. “Aside from a slight pinch, but that can’t be helped. Now please, turn your arm over.”

Amelie complied, almost without thinking. She would have thought that strange if her mind wasn’t already occupied, all thoughts of where she could be or who these people were leaving her with more questions than answers. She whimpered when the needle pushed into her arm, not able to look as the vial started to fill with her blood.

“Beautiful.” Moira inserted the full vial into a device on her arm, waiting for a few seconds while the machine analyzed the contents of the blood. “Not even a trace amount of the serum in the bloodstream. Let’s take a look at that brain of yours.”

Amelie yelped when a screen was pulled around her head, pulsing blue lights flashing along the cover. “Relax Mrs. Lacroix, this is merely measuring your brain activity.” She smirked. “Nothing sinister, I assure you.”

Kozlov hummed in thought as he looked over the scan of her brain, running his finger along the border of her frontal lobe. “Fascinating. I must admit Dr. O’Deorain, we wouldn’t have gotten this far without you.”

“Of course not, you would have sawed through god knows how many people before you found the answer you were looking for.” She wrote down her final notes, snapping the book closed and turning away. “My work here is done for now, you may call me when the second stage is ready to be activated.”

“Please…” Amelie tried to reach out, her arms failing her. “I don’t… I feel like I remember you from somewhere...”

Moira straightened up, tilting her head curiously. “Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us. Remember that, it is most important.”

Moira stepped out of the room, leaving Amelie alone with Dr. Kozlov. And soon enough he too left, the helmet coming down and leaving her only in darkness.

 

ANNIVERSARY. ETERNAL. LIP. PAVEMENT.

She didn’t even react anymore, her body long since still in the chair. Her eyes no longer ached, her ears didn’t register a piercing shriek, she couldn’t even remember a time where they had affected her to begin with.

NINETEEN. BERLIN. WRITING DESK. HONORARY.

She blinked slowly, seconds ticking by in her mind. Was there something before she had come here? Or was that all that had ever been? Had she been here all her life? Or only a handful of days? Was someone coming to save her? Or was she going to die here?

ANNALISE. LEOPOLD.

Distantly, somewhere far in the back of her mind, she knew someone had done something to her, but what? Was it them who put her in this chair, or was it something before that?

PATRIARCH. SOHO.

Her mind blanked, posture straightening up and her gaze focusing. Even her breath regulated, one in, one out, perfectly timed like clockwork.

READY TO COMPLY?

She nodded, not even blinking. “I am ready to comply.”

RESET. AWAIT FURTHER ORDERS.

Her eyes closed, body losing all energy and head hanging limply. When she awoke next she would remember none of this.

 

Gunshots were the first thing she registered, dull and distant screams of pain slowly increasing in volume until they were right outside her door. When a boot kicked the door in and off its hinges she figured she should have jumped, and indeed her pulse started to race, but she couldn’t find it in herself to move anymore.

She’d had enough of false hope.

The intruder, dressed all in black with a gas mask over his face, only stood at the door, seemingly just watching her and making no effort to move. Slowly, with shaking hands as though he was afraid of shattering, he reached up, pulling the mask off his face and dropping it to the ground. “Amelie…” He said, taking cautious steps towards her. “Amelie, do you know who I am?”

She looked up at him, eyes not focusing on his face until he was stood right in front of her, and by then the answer was clear as day. “Gerard?”

He smiled, tears streaming down his face as he wrapped his arms around her. “That’s right Amelie, it’s me. We found you, you’re safe now.”

“‘We’?” She blinked slowly, head against his shoulder. “Who’s ‘we’?”

“Overwatch my dear, I’m here with Overwatch.”

“Overwatch?” ENEMY. “They came for me?”

He nodded. “As soon as we got word of where you were, we came running.” His lip started to quiver, his arms wrapping around her shoulders and squeezing her against his body. “I was so scared my love, I thought… no, it doesn’t matter what I thought. All that matters is that you’re here now, with me.”

He pulled back, undoing her restraints and lifting her into his arms. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end, I hope you stick around.


	4. Spider

“How is she Dr. Ziegler?”

Gerard hadn’t left the observation room since he’d dragged Amelie out of what he would describe as hell, her head tucked against his neck while he carried her through hallways that had been stained with blood even before Overwatch had staged their attack. Angela had taken her off his hands as soon as they’d touched down, and even now, four hours later she wasn’t quite ready to let her go.

“She’s been through alot over the last few weeks,” Angela said, not breaking her sight away from the frail woman sat in her office, “She’s showing signs of torture, drugging, there are slight burns at her temples where I’m almost certain electricity was applied… it’s utterly barbaric.”

“But her condition...” Gerard lay his hand over Angela’s, squeezing down just so she knew how important this was. “Angela… is my wife going to be alright?”

“I can’t say right now Gerard, I’m sorry. Physically she seems to be in surprisingly good condition but mentally… you know just as well as anyone what going through something like that can do to your mind.”

He shuddered, memories of Cape Town and Reyes coming back like they had occured yesterday. Gabriel had seemed to find parts of it funny once time had passed by, but privately… there were more unpleasant memories than positive ones from that particular fiasco. “I don’t want to think of what Amelie has been through, but… what do you recommend that I do? To make sure that she has everything she needs?”

“I recommend that we keep her under observation for the next two weeks, I don’t want to think about it either but in my professional opinion… she’s showing injuries consistent with what we’ve found from their other failed experiments, whether they were preparing to perform surgery or not… well, I think that we shouldn’t be ready to send her home just yet.”

“A wise decision dear Angela,” Came a voice from behind them, Angela herself not bothering to change her view from looking through the one sided mirror. Of all the voices,  _ hers _ was not the one that she wanted to hear today. “Who knows what secrets could be laying in her body just waiting to surprise us?”

“I suppose that  _ you _ of all people would be familiar with that, wouldn’t you?” 

“Are we still not talking because of the Gabriel situation?” Moira placed her hand on Angela’s shoulder, long fingers curling into the fabric of her coat before she wisely took it back. “I thought that you would appreciate a more… scientific focus than we’ve had before.”

“I don’t believe in treating people like test subjects for… whatever it is that you’re doing in their backroom. Now if you don’t mind, I am currently observing a patient.”

“Ah of course,” She said, bowing slightly at Gerard, “My apologies, I heard about your mission, I trust that everything went well.”

“Dr. O’Deorain…” Her presence unnerved him, but it always did. The good doctor just had that effect on people, especially with the way that her career at Overwatch had ended only for her to be snatched up by Blackwatch. Knowing what she had been doing and how… flexible some of her morals were didn’t exactly make it easy to pass her in the hallway. “Thank you for your concern, but I would rather not talk about it outside of a debriefing. Finding my wife after losing her for weeks is not the easiest thing to go through.”

“Of course, of course,” She replied, that permanent smile of hers not quite reaching her eyes, “I shall leave you two to your business.”

Pausing at the door, she looked with clinical interest at the patient sitting still and rigid on the observation table. “Interesting, all things considered she looks to be in relatively good shape. They left this one intact it seems.”

She was gone before Gerard could fully process what she had said, fortunate with the sudden flash of anger that it brought up within him. Clenching his hand around the edge of the cabinet in front of him until his knuckles were white, he took a deep breath and kept it held until he could feel his emotions dying away and cooling, the same technique he used whenever he had an enemy in his sights. He’d never thought that he would have to use it to deal with seeing a coworker.

“I know that you likely have as much control over her as anyone else, but I would appreciate you keeping her away from my wife.”

“Trust me Gerard,” She replied, running her hand along his back, “If I could, I would keep her away from just about everyone on earth.”

****

“Amelie, can you hear me?”

She looked up at her name being said, her mind cloudy and her vision… oddly sensitive. Everything seemed so bright, so overwhelming that she wanted nothing more than to clamp her eyelids shut and block the rest of the world out, but something inside of her was stopping her from doing so. She needed to see everything, everyone, she didn’t know why she just… needed to.

“Amelie-” She jumped at the hand that brushed against her shoulder, tumbling backwards off the table and falling towards the floor. The tile was rushing up towards her face, ready to connect when suddenly it wasn’t, her feet carrying effortlessly underneath her and slapping down, her back straightening up and her eyes immediately looking around for the enemy.

“Amelie, it’s me!” Amelie snapped her eyes to the woman standing in the middle of the room, all efforts to do… whatever it was that she had just been prepared to do dying instantly when she recognized the friend in front of her.

“Angela?” Reaching out softly, she grasped at a very real lab coat and looked up into very real eyes, filled with very real care. “Is that you?”

“It is,” Angela replied, “Do you really remember who I am? Do you remember where you are now?”

“I… yes. You are Angela Ziegler-”  _ Liar  _ “-and I’m… at the Overwatch-”  _ Traitors  _ “-Facility in London.”

“That’s true, very good.” She smiled encouragingly, gently placing her hand on Amelie’s arm and leading her back towards the table. “Do you have any knowledge of where you’ve been for the last few weeks?”

“I…” Flashes of  _ something _ passed through her mind, an explosion, needles,  _ blinding _ pain but… nothing that she could grasp for more than a few seconds. “I don’t know for sure.”

“What’s the last thing that you remember Amelie?” Angela sighed, “I’m sorry if this is painful for you, but it’s important that we know the extent of the memory loss.”

“I-I understand. The last thing I remember is… is…” She sobbed, chest shaking with sorrow and her hand squeezing Angela’s so hard it was a wonder that no bones broke. “Lena’s funeral.”

Angela looked down at the name. She hadn’t had the time to get to know the young pilot herself outside of physicals, but from what little she had experienced she seemed to be a wonderful young woman. It was easy to see that she had meant a great deal to Amelie and Gerard as well, but the extent of that… wasn’t for her to guess at.

“I am sorry Amelie, but do you remember anything specifically about it?”

“I remember the casket, and kneeling in front of the stone but… I don’t remember anything after that, only small flashes of things that I can’t quite say what they were.” There was something prickling at the back of her mind, something that came after the funeral but before… everything else. 

“Amelie?” Angela said, “You look like you want to say something.”

“I think I remember…” Of all the images flashing through her mind, some of them painful, some of them not, none of them were quite as unnerving as this. “I remember a smile.”

****

The questions didn’t last long after that, her answers getting vaguer and vaguer until they seemed to actually hurt to say, finally laying herself down on the table and getting some well deserved and much needed rest. Gerard, of course, was not going to be placated until he knew exactly what was going on.

“What do you think happened?” He asked Angela as soon as she walked through the door, “Do you think she is going to be ok?”

She considered her answer carefully, comparing how she was right now to the countless soldiers that she’d pieced together after a mission. It was hard to tell how deep the damage went, but even now she had no doubt that it was extensive. “The physical wounds will heal in time, as much as I hate agreeing with her, Moira is correct. Amelie is in much better condition than the other subjects that we’ve recovered from Talon, most of the scientists working for them could be considered little more than butchers, which thankfully seems to not be the complete case here.”

She sighed, running a hand through her hair and resting her tired eyes for a moment. “Mentally though... I feel that she has a very long road ahead of her. She’s never gone through any form of torture training, has no concept of recovery methods… the physical things that they have done to her are horrific enough, but I cannot even begin to imagine the psychological aspect of their experimentation. I doubt she will ever truly recover from this.”

It was as Gerard had hoped not to be the case, but knew inevitably it would be. He’d seen the victims of torture, had  _ been  _ one in his career, but that was something to be expected in the line of work that he and his fellow soldiers were in. You didn’t hope for it by any means, but you accepted the possibility and the outcome of being captured.

Amelie though… she had never expected it, and he had never expected her to ever become involved like this. Naive, he was too naive and his wife had paid the price for his mistakes.

“What did they want with her, could it have been something to do with what I’ve been doing?”

“I think it almost certainly has something to do with what and who you have been looking into, but before you jump to any conclusions I would like to say that this isn’t your fault.”

“It’s hard to feel like it isn’t, I wasn’t there for her when I needed to be.”

“From what you said, the day she was taken she had asked you for a moment alone. Giving her privacy to mourn is not a failing as a husband.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Placing his hand against the glass, he stared in at his finally resting wife, if he squinted he was almost able to pretend that there weren’t needle tracks on her arms and a hospital gown covering her body. “I haven’t been there for her in quite a while, that’s one of the reasons that Lena and her became so close.”

“She was just seeking out a friend,” She replied, picking the word very carefully in case she crossed any lines she wasn’t aware of, “Your job is important, I’m sure she understood that.”

“A friend?” Gerard sighed, “Come now Angela, let’s not pretend. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m… not sure I…”

“You didn’t meet her that often, but you know just as well as everyone else how close Lena and my wife were…” Squeezing the bridge of his nose, he exhaled a frustrated breath that he’d been holding in for what felt like his entire life, “What everyone else has seemed to notice but never wants to bring up is the fact that they were sleeping together for at least the last eight months, maybe longer.”

Angela didn’t know how to react, but what could you really react to such a revelation when it was delivered so… matter of factly? “I’m… so sorry Gerard I don’t… quite know what to say.”

“There is nothing to say, the only thing that needs to be understood in my telling this is the profound loss that Amelie has gone through… that  _ both _ of us have gone through. Whatever their actions, they cared a great deal for each other. To see Lena be buried is just as devastating to both of us as if either of  _ us _ was in her place, and to be kidnapped on her day of mourning on top of all of that...”

“Excuse me for saying this,” Angela trailed off, taking a seat finally and gesturing for him to do the same, “But you seem to be… not as angry at them as I would have expected.”

“One is dead and the other was almost so, why should I be angry?”

“You know what I mean, even with all of this you would be warranted in having disappointment at their…”

“Betrayal? Deceit?” He laughed, a single breath of bitterness, “I am not foolish enough to not notice their closeness, but I  _ was _ foolish enough to be blind to the signs that led to it. If they are at fault for anything, then I mustn’t discount my own role.”

Knowing that he had more to say than that, Angela crossed her legs and leaned forward, gesturing for him to continue.

“I tried to be a good husband, and when we are together I believe that I am… but as the years have gone by I’ve become less and less of a husband to her and more of an… occasional visitor.” Looking down at his hand, at the countless scars dusting his palm from glass shards and knife wounds from countless fights over the years, he sighed, “I am gone from her life for nine months out of the year, and when I come back I’m just so… tired. It’s no life for someone to have, I thought about getting a divorce and freeing her from all of this but I just… I love her too much to let her go like that.”

“So the affair…”

“Was inevitable, when you think about it. Amelie hasn’t gotten the love that she has deserved for a long few years now, when I figured out what was happening I wasn’t surprised I was just… disappointed, in myself more than anything. For making her feel that she needed to reach elsewhere for closeness when I couldn’t be found… for knowing that in many ways she wasn’t wrong either.” He clenched his fist, looking sadly through the window at Amelie. “What hurt me more than anything was that she never spoke to me about it, that she felt that I would have… rejected her feelings for Lena without thought, that I would have cut off their contact and tried to keep her for myself when I cannot even remember her face half the time in the field.”

“And if she’d talked to you about it?”

“I would have been surprised, make no mistake I am far more emotional about this than it may seem. We… probably would have argued at least once, but once I had time to think about it… I would likely have told them both that I was ok with it. It being Lena would have softened the blow somewhat.”

Angela laid her hand on top of his, sympathy clear in the frown across her face. “You cared a lot for her, didn’t you?”

“I’m the one who discovered her Angela, I saw her potential and I made the suggestion to bring her into the fold. She became a mainstay at my house, she spent so many of my nights here with us for dinner that the few occasions she couldn’t make it felt… wrong.” Gerard sniffed, flicking at the corner of his eye before continuing, “I loved her Angela, not the same way that I love Amelie, but love all the same. She became  _ family,  _ and not a day has gone by where I do not think about my role in her not being here any longer.”

“That wasn’t your fault-”

“Dominoes Angela, dominoes. The last cannot fall without the first, that’s just the way that it is. In my… weaker times I think that maybe… maybe it would have been better if she was still here and I… wasn’t, however that might be.”

“But you  _ are _ here, and that’s not going to change. What you  _ can _ do from now on is be here for her, whatever else is going on… I think that everyone will understand if you take a step back from everything for the time being. You have a chance to make things right, I want you to take it.”

“I will, if nothing else I… I think I realize what I could have lost. A future without her in it doesn’t bear much thinking about, I’m not going to make the same mistakes as I have before.” He stood, holding his hand out and smiling softly. “Thank you Angela, for… listening to me.”

“Thank you for trusting me with your thoughts,” She replied, stepping past his hand and wrapping him in a short hug, “Now go be by her side, I believe that she would benefit from your presence through all of this.”

He nodded, stepping through the door and taking his place at his wife’s side. And that was where he remained, until she finally woke up.

****

Her dreams were fitful, jumbled, not making any sense in the normal meaning of the word but… different somehow, as though she was staring through a window into someone else’s mind. Gunsmoke, fire, blood, all rushing towards her down a hallway that she had no way of escaping…

And then she woke with a start.

“No!” She shot up like a bolt, panicking when hands pressed down against her hips and tried to keep her down, her body shaking with resistance until she felt a voice at her ear that she hadn’t heard in what felt to be an eternity.

“Amelie please, it’s me…” Gerard moved slowly into her vision, pulling his hands back and letting her recognize him on her own time. “I’m here, it’s me. Do you remember me?”

“Gerard…” She threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around him and sobbing into his neck, “Gerard! I… I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too Amelie, I missed you so, so much…” His hand ran down her back in a comforting rub, his chest rattling with the weight of having almost lost this. “You’re going to need to stay here for a little while so that they can make sure that you’re alright, but I’m not going to leave you again, ok? I’m going to stay here until you finally get sick of me.”

She laughed, tears falling from her eyes and staining the collar of his shirt. “I’m not going to get sick of you, please just… stay here with me as long as you can.”

“Always Amelie,” He said, relaxing into her hold and closing his eyes, “Always…”

****

Test after test didn’t reveal anything wrong with her body, aside from the obvious scrapes and bruises from the procedures that she’d been put through. The cause of her memory loss hadn’t yet been revealed, though they felt safe in their thoughts that it was caused by one of the many drugs she’d been given, perhaps in the future she would regain her memory but for now they were focused on recovery of her other functions.

Well, most were, Ana, Jack and Gabriel had all been disappointed to learn that she couldn’t name or list anyone who was involved with her kidnapping, but a stern look and a few hushed words from Gerard had been enough to turn them away from that line of thinking. For now Amelie was safe, they could focus on revenge later.

Despite the assurances that she would find something hidden away from plain site, Angela found nothing to suggest that anything had been permanently altered in Amelie’s body, brain scans not showing any implants or physical damage, it seemed that they had gotten there just in time to prevent whatever it was that they were planning to do to her. Moira was right, she was in very good shape, that was something to be grateful for at least.

“Congratulations Amelie,” She said with a smile, “I’m happy to say that as far as the tests are concerned, we don’t have anything to be concerned about with your physical condition. I would strongly suggest that you seek psychiatric help in recovering from your ideal however, I know a number of professionals that can aid in this process.”

“It can’t be you?” Amelie asked, “It will be… difficult to talk to someone new about all of this.”

“I’m not an expert in the field, and I really think it would be best handled by someone who was.” She leaned forward, taking Amelie’s hand in hers and squeezing softly. “I will be here to talk whenever you need someone to talk to though, don’t ever think otherwise.”

“Ok, I will. Thank you Angela.” Amelie pulled her in, arms tight around her shoulders and her face in her hair. “For everything.”

“We’re just glad to have you back, now go on, go home with your husband.” Angela led her to the door, looking out the window to see Gerard standing outside and waiting anxiously. “He’s been worried sick for you over the last few weeks, he’s going to be relieved to be able to have you back at home.”

“So am I,” She sighed, “So am I.”

****

After days of tests and questions, curiosity and concern from her friends and friends of her husband, Amelie hadn’t felt anything as good as the feeling of sinking into the mattress at home, all the strength leaving her body as the soft fabric of the sheets rested against her skin and welcomed her like an old lover.

“After everything, would you mind if I never left here again?”

Gerard chuckled, “My love, if you want to spend the rest of eternity in bed I’m definitely not going to stop you. I may well join you in fact.”

“Well, you can start now,” She said, opening her arms and welcoming him towards her, “Come, rest with me.”

“If you insist…” Collapsing next to her, he rested his eyes for a moment before turning onto his side, draping his arm across her chest and pulling her towards him. “Is this alright?”

She nodded, placing her own hand on the back of his head and pulling him in for a kiss, her eyes falling shut with each second that passed by, the afternoon sun drifting over them through the open window and cooling them with the gentle breeze. “I missed this.”

“So did I,” He answered, taking her hand and running his thumb across her knuckles, “I was afraid that I wouldn’t ever get to feel this again, but I guess luck was on my side this time. I’m never going to let this happen again Amelie, you need to know this.”

Amelie looked away, breathing heavily before asking, “How can you be sure?”

It hurt him to see her reluctance to believe him, but in the wake of everything that had happened, everything that they’d lost… he couldn’t really blame her. But he could do his best to protect her. “I’m not going to leave your side anymore, I’m… going to request a transfer to something a little quieter. I’m finished with fieldwork, I think I have been for a while now.”

“But… you love your job,” She said, “Overwatch is a dream come true for you!”

“Not anymore, not when I’ve seen what the price can be.” He pressed his lips to her hand, holding it close and inhaling gently. “I can still be of use to them from an office, I just don’t think that I’m fit to have my finger around a trigger any longer. This is what is important to me, right here. I’m sorry that it took me so long to see that.”

“I’m sorry too my love. I… have done some things that I’m not proud of, and if we’re truly to do this together then I should be honest about them.”

He bowed his head in understanding, guiding her to sit up with him while he kept hold of her hand. “Is this about Lena?”

“What?” Her eyes widened in shock, her free hand coming up to cover her mouth. “How did you-”

“You’re my wife Amelie, and she was one of my closest friends, I may be foolish enough to spend so much time away from you, but I’m not so foolish as to not recognize love when I see it. You… looked at her the same way that you look at me.”

She’d prepared herself for admonishment, even anger, but the lack of either of those was concerning to her. “I’m so sor-”

“Don’t Amelie, please, don’t apologize.” Smiling, he shook his head with a small huff of laughter, “If you apologize, then I’ll have to apologize, and we’ll just spend the whole night here going around in circles. I’d like to sit here with you forever, but not apologizing.”

“But what else can I do?” She asked, “I betrayed the oaths that I made with you, I did one of the only things that you’re not supposed to do when you’re married, how can you… be so calm about this?”

“Because Lena was a wonderful young woman, who would have gone on to do great things, and even if I wanted to I doubt that I could be angry at either of you for wanting some semblance of closeness with someone. I won’t deny the hurt of you two not just  _ talking  _ to me, you’ve known me for so many years now, you know that I wouldn’t stand in the way of love, no matter who it was.” 

Amelie wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, what could you really say when faced with such a lack of a reaction that you had been  _ certain _ you were going to experience? There was only one thing that she needed to know, and she wasn’t sure if she should dare to ask. “Can… you forgive me?”

“I don’t have to Amelie, I did that a long time ago. In some ways, as strange as this is to say, I’m glad that you at least had someone here to take care of you while I was gone. And at least… at least it was someone as wonderful as she was.”

“She was…” Amelie looked into his eyes, seeing the pain on full display. “You miss her too, don’t you?”

“I do, I don’t have a single day where I don’t think what I would do to have her come back to us. But as long as we remember her, as long as we live the way that she would have liked… I think that somewhere, wherever it is that she may be now, I think that she would be happy.”

Looking down at their hands, rings still on their fingers and linked together so tightly, Amelie couldn’t help but agree. “The sun’s going down, would you like to watch it together?”

He nodded, rising from the bed and taking her with him. “Lead the way my love.”

****

Before they knew it two weeks had passed them by in relative comfort, Amelie’s nights were interrupted constantly by nightmares, she could count the amount of nights that she’d slept all the way through on one hand missing all of its fingers, but having Gerard there to bring her back when flashes of the room came into her mind was… a comfort.

Gerard had placed a request for a transfer, Gabriel had jokingly said that he’d lost the edge, but he understood fully. Everyone did, even Jack with all the pressure that had been placed on him over the last few months, no one was going to argue with the man who had almost lost his wife in one of the worst ways possible. He’d been placed on mandatory leave to ensure that he didn’t get tempted by any leads they were working on from what they’d gathered from the Talon facility, he was one of their best workers but they were prepared to say goodbye to him for a good cause. They just had to make sure that he went through with it.

The two of them were enjoying spending time together, but much to his chagrin he was discovering that after so many months fighting it was difficult to relax. With Amelie’s legs resting over his own on the couch while they watched a movie he could feel the edges of it, but it was hard to switch off, something that Amelie could fully sympathize with.

She hadn’t said anything, assuming that it was just one of the side effects of the medication that she’d been prescribed, but sometimes her mind felt… fuzzy. Not in the same way as when a memory flashed by, but like something was trying to claw its way through and was just being held back by the thinnest of films. It was peculiar, and had definitely had an effect on her mood over the last two weeks, but it would pass in time, just as all things would.

“Gerard,” She said, taking her eyes off the film that they hadn’t really been paying attention to anyway, “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course,” He said, “What is it?”

“Someday soon, when I’m better… do you think we would be able to go see Lena again?” She sighed, “I know that right now it might be a bit much but… it’s very important to me.”

He nodded without pause. “I would have to ask Angela first, I don’t know what going back to where you were taken would do but… I would definitely take you back there when we’re both up to it. We haven’t had a chance to properly mourn like we should, I think it would help us to heal.”

“I think so too…” Leaning into his side, she sighed in contentment, “I love you Gerard, I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

“And I love you Amelie, get used to hearing it aga-”

He was interrupted by the ringing of the phone, the shrill tone cutting through their moment of peace and grating right against his nerves. “Fantastic, I had hoped that no one would call anytime soon.”

“Go on, answer it,” She said, pushing him from the couch with her foot, “I’ll be here waiting when you’re done.”

“I won’t be long, don’t go anywhere.” Walking the length to the kitchen and picking up the phone, he placed it at his ear and answered, “Lacroix, who am I speaking to?”

“Ah, Mr. Lacroix, how fortunate.” Even through a phone line, Moira’s voice alone had the power to crawl under your skin. “I understand that it’s been two weeks since Mrs. Lacroix returned home. I’m calling to ask if she has made any discoveries in regards to her memory loss?”

“Dr. O’Deorain,” He replied, “I’m afraid not, for the time being we are just focused on her recovery, anyother revelations can come much later as far as we are concerned.”

“Is she available to speak? I have a few questions that I would like to ask her, just to clear some things up.” At his moment of hesitation, she laughed, “Nothing sinister I assure you, just some follow up questions in regards to her medication. I assure you, my intentions are noble.”

“I…” He wasn’t certain about this, but she  _ was _ a medical professional. Amelie’s health was his top priority, and he had noticed some strange dips in her mood since she’d started the medication, maybe the best thing to do would be to just do as the doctor asked. “Hold on for a moment, I’ll go and get her.”

“Grand, do have a pleasant night Mr. Lacroix.”

“Amelie,” He called, holding the phone out when she stood, “Doctor on the phone, she’d like to ask you a few questions.”

Collecting the phone from him, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and flicked her eyes towards the bedroom. “I’m feeling a little tired, why don’t we go lay down after this? We can just sit and think of nothing for a while.”

“That sounds wonderful,” He replied, smiling and backing away, “I’ll go and get everything ready, take as long as you need.”

Watching him go, she forgot for a moment that she was on the phone, snapping back to attention at the distant crackle of a throat being cleared. “I’m so sorry! How can I help you?”

“Mrs. Lacroix,” She drawled, “I’m very happy to hear that you are doing better, after the events of the last few weeks I feared that your condition would be much worse. How fortunate that it’s not the case.”

“I’ve had a lot of support, without that I don’t think I would be in nearly as good a condition.” She recognized that voice from somewhere, but she couldn’t quite place it.  There was that familiar itch at the back of her skull again, but the reason for it was so far unknown. “If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly do you need to know?”

“I had some questions about your memory, please try to answer all of them if you can. This will only take a minute I don’t plan on holding you up for long.”

“A-Alright, I’ll try my best…”

“Good. Do you remember where you were held, how you came to be there?”

“No, I can’t remember any of that.”

“Any names or faces, anyone that you could recognize?”

“No…” Flashes of a voice, a smile floating in the mist of her memory. “I… I don’t know.”

“Most curious, it seems that your memory loss is quite substantial indeed…” Amelie wasn’t certain, but she felt that she could  _ hear _ a smile creeping across the doctor’s face. “But as Oscar Wilde once said, ‘Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.’”

“You-” Memory snapped back to her, images of the doctor looking down at her with something crossed between pity and curiosity, a flash of sympathy as she was carried down to the ground in front of her lover’s grave. In an instant she remembered exactly where she had heard that voice before, and in an instant her entire body went numb.

“Mrs. Lacroix?” The doctor asked, “Respond.”

“I-I’m here,” She replied shakily, her expression frozen solid even as she wanted to scream out, knuckles white around the receiver even as she fought to throw it to the ground. She wished to move, to say something, to make her body  _ obey  _ her, but here will was no longer her own, even as her mind stayed intact.

“Let’s do some word association, shall we?” Clearing her throat, she continued, “Overwatch.”

“Enemy.”

“Good. Talon.”

“Ruler.”

“Interesting, what about… Gerard?”

Her entire mind screamed out at her, teeth almost cracking as the last ounces of will in her body were spent trying to keep the word from exiting her mouth. Even with all her effort, all her desire to say  _ anything _ except what she was being forced to, nothing could stop those two, simple syllables from making themselves known to the world.

“Target.”

“Very good,” Moira praised, “Complete task and report to rendezvous point at Charing Cross. And… for what it may be worth, you do have my sympathies.”

The line disconnected with a click, the phone in Amelie’s hand being placed gently on the countertop as she stepped back. Gerard was in the bedroom, getting everything ready for them to sleep. She had as long as she needed to prepare, but she wouldn’t need long, she already remembered what it was that she needed.

_ No, no I don’t want to do this! _

Even as her mind fought to rebel, her feet carried her into his office, the sound of his hums echoing behind her with each drawer of his desk that she pulled out and swiftly looked through. She’d seen it once before, on one of the late nights that he’d come home from god only knew where and stumbled before coming to greet her. Even as she realized what she was looking for, what her body was picking out from her memories to complete her “mission”, she couldn’t stop the hand that grasped the bottom drawer, pulling it out and revealing the small iron box within.

_ No, no please no… _

Magazine checked, slide racked back, Amelie turned around and started making her way to the bedroom, each footstep echoing heavily in her heart as each second ticked by. She knew what was going to happen, there was no way that anything else could  _ possibly _ happen, not even the smallest bit of hope was still in her mind when she felt fingers that weren’t quite her own squeezing around the cold iron of the pistol.

When she stopped and saw him turn to smile at her, she felt herself shatter into a million pieces, every instinct telling her to scream at him to run, but every part of her cruelly denying her the chance to do so.

“Amelie,” He said, brow creased in confusion, “What’s wrong, are you alright?”

The first shot came so suddenly that it made them both jump, the pistol kicking in her hand and the deafening report almost covering up the sight of the cloud of blood flashing at his stomach, the surprise of the shot sending him stumbling back against the wall, his back cracking the mirror and leaving behind a crimson streak as he slid off to the side. The second shot took a second to aim, the round tearing into his back and carrying out through his shoulder, a third following in the split second afterwards and dropping him to the ground.

“Amelie,” He gasped, still having the strength to crawl along the ground, soldier’s survival instincts telling him to get away from the source of the gunshots, no matter who the shooter was. A husband’s instincts however kept him back, desperate to know just why and how this could have happened. “What are... you  _ doing?” _

Turning himself over onto his back with a scream of agony, he shuffled backwards on his elbows and looked up at her, the complete lack of emotion on her face contrasting with the tears spilling down her cheeks, advancing steadily on him with pistol at the ready. His hand clawed out behind him, grabbing hold of the bed sheets and pulling him upwards, body half on the mattress and his back against the wall, there was nowhere for him to go anymore. But he’d made a promise, he wasn’t going to leave her again, and if there was even the slightest chance that he could pull her back from this he had to take it.

Part of him recognized however, that this was likely the end for him, as out of nowhere and as nonsensical as it seemed. The irony of this being his death wasn’t lost on him.

“Amelie…” Reaching up, his fingers just barely brushed against her arm before it fell back to his side, his strength fading rapidly and his vision blurring. “They did something to you, didn’t they?”

Looking into her eyes, he saw the flickers of pain that gave away what she was truly feeling, even as her mouth remained locked in that frozen line it was easy for him to see the agony that she was really in. “Amelie, listen to me… this isn’t you, do you hear me?”

She pressed the barrel to his forehead, the breath shuddering in his throat as his eyes clamped shut out of instinct. “This isn’t you, this isn’t you…”

_ Look up at her,  _ he thought to himself,  _ Look up at her, you goddamn coward. _

Forcing his eyes open and looking past the barrel, he stared up into eyes that were so twisted with pain it was a wonder that she was even still standing. But even still, the pistol never wavered from his forehead, her finger never twitched nervously, and in that moment he knew what was going to happen. All he could do was make peace with that fact.

“I know that you’re in there,” He said, “And I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. You didn’t do this,  _ they  _ did.” 

He shuddered as she pressed the pistol deeper against his skin, nodding slowly and smiling, at peace.

“I’ll see you again one day  _ mon cœur _ … I love you, Amelie Lacroix.”

Amelie’s heart broke in her chest, her finger squeezing against the trigger while she stared into his eyes one last time.

_ I love you, Gerard Lacroix. I’m so sorry. _

****

By the time Overwatch responded to the alarms Amelie was long gone, the pistol left next to her husband’s body and wiped of her fingerprints. No one knew what had happened, no one knew  _ why _ it had happened, all they knew was that one man was dead and the other was missing, no motive, no theory as to where she could have gone, just… gone.

None of them knew that she’d been picked up by a car with her mind in a daze, none of them knew that even though she had been strapped into a reconditioning chair and put through the rest of the procedure, her mind had ceased to be her own as soon as she’d pulled the trigger. In many ways, if she could still think through the grief, she would have considered it a mercy. She would be placed in training the next month, and for the next few months no one would even know of her existence.

As time went by, that would change. Former friends would see a turncoat who had betrayed them terribly, unexpected allies would find someone to take under their wing, yet others would come into her new life and see the potential for something approaching a friend. But for years afterwards, for so long that memory became useless and life became a blur, she was no longer Amelie Lacroix.

To all who met her, new and old, friend and enemy… she was the Widowmaker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(
> 
> A whole year to write this, I guess you can see why. It's not the last time that I'm ever going to write Gerard, but this first time was honestly such a bummer. If there's any comfort it's that justice may some day be on the horizon for him, however long it takes.
> 
> Going to work on something that's not such a bummer next, don't know what yet, but it'll be lighter than this. Regardless, I hope that you liked this, even if it is kind of hard to sit through.
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](https://genderfluidintake.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/TheFluidWriter) for updates or whatever.
> 
> See you next time <3


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